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Sally, a lesbian, agreed that a benet of old-time dancing is that it allows her to             There’s a lot of eye contact in irting. Sometimes you sort of roll your
feel feminine and to irt for fun. She said she loved wearing pretty clothes and                eyes, but you don’t have to. There’s lots of smiling and grinning. It’s
being complimented. She also liked being able to act very feminine without men                  kind of acting like you’re in love with the person, whatever that means.
assuming that she was looking for sex or a relationship.                                        But you can have eye contact and smile and not be irting. I guess I’m
                                                                                                irting when I’m trying to attract and be attractive. It’s playing.
          It’s fun to feel pretty to people, both women and men. [I notice that you
          dance with men most of the time.] Oh yes, that’s part of the fun. Man        Most participants agree that irting is an attitude more than a behavior although
          and women are supposed to dance together here. So I can irt to my           it has behavioral components. This sometimes leads to misunderstandings
          heart’s content, and it doesn’t mean a thing because they all know I’m       between dance partners about whether smiles and eye contact are intended
          going home with Adrian, my partner. Some of these guys have been my          as irting or just friendly gestures. Since irting is considered play, these
          irting buddies for years, and I love them to pieces. But they know and      misunderstanding tend not to cause many problems.
          I know that irting is as far as it goes.
                                                                                                Like other dance interactions, the majority of irting occurs between
Many of the women interviewees claimed that looking feminine is a “fun” part           opposite sex partners. Even though a majority of dancers claim to dance with
of gender that has nothing to do with their seriousness about women’s issues.          same sex partners occasionally, they dance and irt with opposite sex partners
They claim that looking nice is about enjoying the sexual differences between          the majority of the time. Nearly 89 percent of survey respondents view irting
men and women.                                                                         with opposite sex partners as part of the fun of old-time dancing. Slightly more
                                                                                       than 91 percent of survey respondents strongly agreed or mostly agreed that
Flirting for Fun with both Sexes                                                       old-time dances are safe places to irt. Both men and women felt similarly. A
          While irting is not a prescribed part of old-time dance, it is so normative minority of both survey respondents and interviewees do not engage in or enjoy
that participants consider it part of the dance. Sharp’s (1909) nding that nearly     the type of irting that occurs in the group. Most who do not enjoy it tend to
all of the original dance moves are rooted in coquetry suggests that old-time          drop out of the group after a short while.
dance has been irtatious since its inception. Although I noted instances of                    Participants say that playful irting has several benets. Flirting can
playful irting at every dance I observed, irting behaviors are much more             make one feel attractive. It can boost the self-esteem of both the sender and
exaggerated in some regions than others. Dancers in the South and on the West          receiver. Additionally, it gives men and women another way to play together
Coast were more likely to engage in what participants labeled as “outrageous           that feels unsafe outside the group.
irting.” Although participants occasionally misunderstand another’s intentions,                While irting with opposite sex partners is a popular part of old-time
more than 85 percent of survey respondents label irting as “just play.”               dancing, fewer than half of the dancers irt with same sex partners. Forty
          What constitutes irting in the OTDC? Participants hold differing views      percent of survey respondents claim they irt with same sex partners. They
about the denition of irting. Some are offended when behaviors such as eye           claim to get the same benets from irting with same sex partners as they get
contact accompanied by smiling are labeled as irting. Others claim that eye           from irting with opposite sex partners. Again, women are more likely than men
contact and smiling are components of irting but are not always used as irting       to risk irting with same sex partners. Both men and women who do irt with
behaviors. The majority say that irting involves something more than simply           same sex partners reason that since irting in the OTDC is about play and not
making eye contact and smiling. They point out that eye contact and smiling            sex, they should be able to irt with persons regardless of gender.
can also be components of leering. Flirting is complex because the behaviors                    Women say they enjoy irting with other women because it gives them
participants display when they are irting are often the same behaviors they           the opportunity to interact with other women in noncompetitive ways. They
display when they are not irting. The majority of interviewees and survey             claim their typical experience in mixed sex groups is one of competing with one
respondents believe that intent has as much to do with irting as behavior does.       another for the attention of the men. One woman said, “I don’t like it when
          Mack, a 40-year-old, says he nds it difcult to describe the difference     women only pay attention to other women when there are no men around. Let’s
between irting and nonirting behavior at dances because irting has a                change that.” Flirting with one another helps women to bond in new ways and
nonphysical component to it.                                                           to develop new levels of trust.

public discussions of sex particularly when one’s sex life could be interpreted
in other physical activities as well. Bueno discusses the unique way in which
as ordinary, routine, or worse, boring. Nonetheless, mundane sex speaks to
many Japanese women walk uchimata, pointed in, and conjectures about the
the “truth” of our everyday experiences. Some of us are too tired to have sex
slow but steady changes in Japanese women’s lives. Sex talk among women
or we go through the motions. The novelty and lust have been replaced by:
is fairly routine. The terms used to describe women’s bodies and experiences
“Can we do it before 10 pm?” Do I have to take my socks off?” “Can I just lay
of heterosexual intercourse contribute to a dichotomy in which women’s
here while you do the work?”
sexuality is described as “interior” and men’s sexuality is described as “exterior.”
Don’t confuse sex with love, my senior seminar students reminded me
Potts explores the implications of these differences and provides a vision for
the other day. We were talking about the message that sexually eager adolescents
reconceptualizing these bodily experiences.
need to hear, but I think this is equally applicable to adults. We can love our
Much of the debate regarding pornography assumes that it has the
sexual partners and enjoy the intimacy that comes from knowing someone for
same meaning for everyone. Nagel approaches this hotly contested topic from a
years, but not feel up for sex on a daily or weekly basis. That said, someone
phenomenological tradition. What is its meaning? Nagel challenges the common
has found a scientic connection between love and sex among heterosexual
assumption that the meaning of pornography is the same for all viewers. Like
adults. Data from a 1992 survey indicate that U.S. heterosexual women who
the rise in popularity of reality TV shows, Barcan describes an increased interest
usually or always achieve orgasm experience greater emotional satisfaction and
in making and watching home-made porn. What attracts “real people” to star in
physical pleasure in their relationships as do their partners (Waite and Joyner,
their own sex videos and what explains the consumer interest in this product?
252). An increase in the frequency of sex has a similar effect. However, whether
Through a series of interviews with readers, Smith explores the meaning of For
heterosexual men always or usually achieve orgasm has no effect on the level
Women, a British pornographic magazine marketed exclusively to women. Part
of emotional satisfaction or physical pleasure they or their female partners
of the magazine’s appeal is its coverage of ordinary women’s issues enabling
experience (Waite and Joyner, 25. I guess men’s orgasms are over-rated.
the female reader to “be where the girlies are.”
Not having enough sex? How about lobbying your legislator for a policy
Literature includes reference to routine sexual encounters and
modeled after Singapore’s? The Singaporean government has created a unique
protagonists’ attempts to nd a sexual partner. For instance, Style’s critique
social policy whose primary aim is to increase fertility, but the latent function
of Let Me Count the Times reminds us that sex can be counted (and is counted
may be to arouse citizens from their mundane sexual habits. Commemorating
by some partners), but desire cannot be satiated by frequent sex. If you are
National Day on August 20, 2001, Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong, announced
interested in rejuvenating your mundane sexual relationship, read this article.
drastic reforms that would provide paid maternity leave to women having
Some protagonists get plenty of sex while others nd that they are excluded from
their third child (previously leave was only granted for their rst and second
the sexual marketplace because they have little to offer. McNamara critiques the
children), a baby bonus of $US 5,000 over a six year period for a second child,

W      hen I was invited to edit this issue, I accepted without much hesitation. At
       the time, I was more concerned with adding to my workload than what
this issue would do to my reputation. When I innocently began discussing my
new responsibility with friends, my decision was often met with a few raised
eyebrows and laughter especially when I mentioned the title of the issue. The
responses went something like this: Mundane se-eh-ex?! Ha, ha. [Smirk.] Are
you trying to say something about your sex life? Do you want to be taken
seriously after this venture? The teasing was sufcient to put an end to my
voluntary disclosures. And, no, this is not an issue about my sex life.
          Why might friends attempt to dissuade me from this responsibility?
What is discrediting about this kind of scholarship? For a moment, let us foray
into the hierarchy of the academy and the politics of sex research. Academic
disciplines rank subject matter in terms of status: those to be taken seriously
and those that are “frivolous.” Women’s issues used to be frivolous, but feminist
groups have struggled to bring women’s experiences to the center of theorizing,
empirical study, and policy development with mixed success. On the other hand,
sex research tends to fall toward the bottom of the status hierarchy. Scholars of
sex and sexuality are frequently the brunt of jokes and are assumed to be sex
gurus, voyeurs, or perverts (Troiden 198. According to some people, the only
serious, respectable sex research is that which is blessed by the government and
validated by grants, big grants.
          Consider the topic of adolescent sexuality. Early efforts to conduct a
national study of adolescent sexual behavior in the United States were thwarted by
conservative politicians and religious organizations (Udry 1993). A few years later,
another national survey of U.S. adolescents with the purpose of studying health
risks received approval (http://www.cpc.unc.edu/addhealth/design.html).
Although numerous questions on this survey probe adolescents’ sexual
behaviors, limited to male/female and male/male sex, questions about sexuality,
sexual orientation, and the development of a positive sexual self-image are
noticeably absent. In contrast, abstinence education has received overwhelming
political support through its link to welfare reform initiatives as part of the
Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996. With
the passage of this act, the U.S. government began funding abstinence education at
a sum of $US 50 million a year (www.agi-usa.org/pubs/ib_welfare_reform.html).
This gure does not include mandated support from state governments or
other sources of federal funds.
Journal of Mundane Behavior, volume 3, number 1 (February 2002), pp. 1-5. © 2002,
Kimberly Mahaffy and Journal of Mundane Behavior. All rights reserved.